mr. daniels

still not quite over the cold/congestion/coughing... working on that, even though i'm working on posters too.

last night i attended two clark university events, and each was intense in its own way, with different reactions.

first was seeing Bob Woodward speak. this was disappointing; i guess like many other liberals, i expected him to have some TRUTH and some hard-hitting investigatory journalist insight into Bush, War, Government, and Foreign Policy that would further make everyone cringe and inspire us all to take a stand and take our government back. that's exactly what happened with Scott Ritter, and even though that man was an admitted conservative, he really inspired us. with Woodward, everyone expected him to be liberal and blunt, as he was when he and Carl Bernstein took down the Nixon administration with their Watergate expose. so imagine everyone's surprise when Woodward, although very funny and insightful, pretty much told us all not to worry about anything and denied that there is bias in the media. he still has much faith in journalism, but he didn't really seem to want to talk about what everyone at clark seems to take as a given-- that media is now serving national policies and corporate interests...
In fact, Mr. Woodward pretty much failed to provide any indication that he had so much as an OPINION on anything... he cracked a lot of jokes-- including saying over and over, "I'm not gonna reveal the identity of "Deep Throat" tonight!" (Deep Throat was his informant on the Watergate shit... who cares who he really is????) ... he went into a long story about how he got to go to the "national ranch" down in Crawford, Texas and interview George W. Bush for 2 1/2 hours... but the only real information and conclusion Woodward shared with us was, "he's a very intense man... he feels very strong emotions... he gets very worked up, very emotional..." NO SHIT!!! what we care about is that those emotions are dictating the policies of this country... or is it the Manifest Destiny, geopolitical superpower / Imperial agenda of the "NEW AMERICAN CENTURY" project?? read this: www.newamericancentury.org... scary. anyway, Woodward just had a book to sell. he spoke for about an hour then headed to a book signing and a meet and greet... whatever.

the more informative and more rewarding part of my Clark evening was viewing the new film "ARARAT." this is a film directed by Armenian-Canadian director Atom Egoyan ("calendar", "the sweet hereafter", "exotica"), and it's about a subject most people don't know anything about, and quite a lot of people refuse to acknowledge-- THE ARMENIAN GENOCIDE. yes, before 6 million jews were murdered in europe in the 1930s and 1940s, there was a Turkish-run mass murder of Armenians in Eastern Turkey in the 19-TEENS, during World War One... The Americans never helped out, and the Turkish government STILL TODAY, in 2003, refuses to acknowledge that this happened... and they don't teach the history in school. the film was very slow-moving, and poetic, and visually stunning... using a lot of flashbacks, a film-within-a-film, reenactments, and handheld video clips... all trying to capture the MEMORY of something that is desperatly trying to be remembered in a world resisting such memories... there are A LOT of subplots... a retiring Canadian Customs agent who detains an Armenian boy who may or may not have smuggled drugs from Turkey... an old director making a film about the genocide, a painter trying to capture a photo of him and his mother from the genocide... and the ghosts of two husbands an Art History professor has lost... anyway, i can't describe this film in any way that would do it justice... it's amazing.. it's intense. just see the goddamn thing. "ARARAT." (mount ararat is a very visual landmark for Armenians).

today at work i am trying to churn out a list of John Wayne posters... ugh... how i hate that man and what he stands for... him and Elvis... (public enemy "fight the power" reference)... and just trying to get feelings out (my own and of those i love). these words are important-- i can never use enough words to express what's going on, and i urge everyone else to try it... without fear of judgement. my boss Penny gave me half of a grilled veggie syrian pocket she couldn't finish. it's nice to be taken care of like that.

you know the drill. read my words. send me yours. my feelings. your feelings. what's on my mind. let me into yours.

love h

ups, downs, strikes, gutters, ins, outs, what-have-yous.

monday night's anniversary show was not as interesting for me as sunday night's, mostly because i was extremely tired, cranky, and getting a cold and sore throat (not the best condition for being in a smoky club)... had a few words with josh and jim after the show, and they mentioned they listened to the bastille demo and liked it. that's pretty cool.

tuesday i worked my poster job like a good boy about to go on a trip to namibia who needs money. at work, i received an email from Lily, who organizes orientation meetings for Worcester Public Schools. Lily would like me to come to an orientation on either May 6th (my birthday) or May 8th (10 years to the date of my Bar Mitzvah!)... anyway, those are two days of my 14 in Namibia. I explained this and I should be able to fill out PAPERWORK and learn some POLICIES for SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS another day next week... what that means is, i believe, i have a JOB until the end of the school year in June, being a subtitute teacher! yay!

upon returning home from work, i found two very fruitful messages waiting for me: one was from Sam from the Bar Fly, who wants Bastille to headline a show next Tuesday, April 29th. Yeah! and the next was from Erick Godin, owner of the Lucky Dog Music Hall, who wants Bastille to open a show on Saturday, May 31st. Yeah again! So that makes me very happy.

getting sick tuesday night and wednesday all day didn't make me too happy... but still, it was nice to relax indoors. i watched some of "What I Learned about U.S. Foreign Policy", a compilation video I bought through www.addictedtowar.com that pretty much scares the shit out of anyone who thought our government didn't do horrible things... they estimate that our "secret government" and the CIA have directly caused the deaths of over 6 MILLION PEOPLE in "third world countries" since the end of WWII. messed up, isn't it? I also watched some of Michael Moore's "The Awful Truth"... which is more entertaining than mind-blowing... oh, how i wish i could just bring these videos into South High for "movie days"... how would that go over with the students? other teachers?

back at the poster job today, on the mend for my sore throat and nasal congestion... staying in bed isn't always the best way to get over what always ails me = LAZINESS. but i did get a lot of personal enjoyment reading done yesterday: A Match Made at Woodstock, an entertaining book (that takes place in Portland, Maine) about a hippie couple who get a divorce after 20 years... he's an accountant who's become "a machine," and she's still an activist and quite principled... most of what i've read so far follows the foolish husband, Frederick, as he struggles to deal with the fact that his wife Chandra (formerly Lorraine) has walked out on him-- he calls her sister, her mother, and his brother for advice, drinks a lot, reorganizes everything in the house, and reminisces about meeting Chandra at Woodstock, and just generally misses her... poor Frederick. But it's a great book so far. Thanks Julie!

so i'll be blogging more soon-- tonight i am going to try to see Bob Woodward speak at Clark University (he's one of the journalists who cracked the Watergate scandal... immortalized in "All the President's Men"; i think Robert Redford played him...). And this Saturday I will return to the RPI "Ski Lodge" fraternity house in Troy, NY to play with "Waiting for Sully." should be fun.

Monday April 28th I return to South High for my last 5 days student teaching (with no pay) as "Mr. Daniels"... I'm hoping to make poetry something that 9th graders can have fun with yet still take seriously, and not dismiss... wish me luck.

peace and love

h

in the 1997 documentary "the cruise," timothy "speed" levitch leads his doubledecker tour bus through new york city and pontificates on... well, everything. as they pass central park, he points out the people sweating, playing sports, and running.

"they are not historically accurate."

the people laying on the grass, writing/reading poetry, gazing into a lover's eyes, and generally not exuding any energy toward a physical activity,

"these people ARE HISTORICALLY ACCURATE."

i'm being historically accurate today. and since the weather has been nicer in worcester, massachusetts, so have i become more and more historically accurate.

so why type on a computer on a beautiful day like this? to share with the few people who read this, whom i love so dearly, how i feel today.

today i feel amazing, because in my life on the cusp (between childhood and adulthood, relationship in the same country and long-distance, social and solitary, motivated and lazy...), i am juxtaposing a weekend of indoor inactivity and general bad vibes with an amazing time back in what i now consider my home. this should not be interpreted to disrespect those at home who love me and whom i love and respect and for whom am grateful... but east lyme, ct had nothing to offer me but food, family, and a darkness within myself which i eventually was able to overcome.

i came home thursday night with my parents, and no friends, who do live in connecticut but had other plans, were able to be found all weekend. friday i received the 2 shots--typhoid and hepatitis A--i require for my healthy stay in namibia, and i took care of myself as best i could-- moisturized the dry skin on my right hand, ate balanced meals without meat or bread (it is passover), and did all i that i thought was best for my soul at the time-- visited with my oma (swiss grandmother in a nursing home who is seeming happier these days), and tried to make my father, mother, and college-bound brother feel comfortable with my visit and feel appreciated.

however, the problem was not them. it is seldom others. it is me. i was not in east lyme, connecticut. i was in windhoek, namibia, and even if i wasn't there, i was in worcester, massachusetts. i have this addiction. her name is julie joy. she is in windhoek (or was in cape town, south africa, until saturday), and i will be there in less than 2 weeks. it is hard negotiating that longing, and that spiritual geography. my soul and heart have been there with julie for so long, with brief visits to wonderful excursions like teaching 9th grade english at south high school in worcester, and visiting albuquerque new mexico, east lansing michigan, and contributing to musical projects. but most of the time i am even using my mind in namibia, thinking of her and my pending visit. but the problem is, because of this connection beyond words, it is hard to articulate everything (and understand ANYTHING) being so far apart and not being able to SEE each other. but this will soon be alleviated.

so on sunday, my parents and i drove back up to worcester, enjoyed the consumable cornucopia of "trader joe's," and i was once again in my newest home, my apartment, my sanctuary for/from everything. shortly after relaxing i went to northampton, mass with rob of bastille fame. we went to see "the anniversary," a rock band that has evolved from a melodic fast pop group to a dirty 70s countrified rock hippie band in a short period of time. they performed at pearl street, a very small club. rob and i walked around northampton on easter sunday with everyone else who decided to enjoy the beautiful weather in the afternoon and early evening, seeing "raven bookstore," and "ichiban," a great japanese and korean restaurant, where rob and i ate what seemed like a feast of vegan sushi, korean condiments, salads, miso soup, and korean tofu spicy stew and rice for WAY less money than we expected to pay. it was a feast. a very inexpensive feast. no, we did not "chew and run," but the salads and soups were included, and we split the costs of the sushi and stew, making each individual cost very reasonable.

the show was wonderful. the opening band was called "the so and so's," they rocked. it was the more rock-oriented project of a beautiful and talented singer-songwriter from boston named meghan tooey, and they all contributed so much talent, musical bliss, and energy to the songs. i bought their cd and plan to share it with someone in africa.

then the anniversary took the stage. they didn't really take breaks between songs, they just rocked consistently and changed things up, reworking new versions of old songs, playing some new songs, and finishing with a couple covers in the encore-- neil young's "everybody knows this is nowhere" and the song "dead flowers" which has been covered by the rolling stones. what an amazing show.

so rob and i are always trying to talk to other people who "dig music," and we love giving out the bastille demo. so we simultaneously spoke with two members of the anniversary-- rob with jim, the bass player, and me with josh berwanger, the talented yet quieter, dirty lennon-like guitarist and singer of the group. they are such nice kids; just kids our age who don't have a record label right now, love playing music, and are in charge of booking their own hotel rooms and tours (except for their opening spot on the "cheap trick" tour... weird!), and are in massive debt. both gentlemen planned on staying up later, and invitied rob and myself to their room at the holiday inn springfield not far away. so we met them there, and stayed for a couple hours, chatting, watching "bull durham" on tnt, digging music, and talking about 80s sitcoms with josh, jim, justin, chris "janko", and adrianne, their sole woman member who plays keyboards, sings, and discusses "small wonder" and "out of this world" equally beautifully.

rob and i were put on the guest list for tonight's show in cambridge, at the middle east upstairs, and hopefully we will introduce the anniversary to some of our friends coming to the show, and other people will confirm for us that this experience was real, and we are not making it up. we're such "band aids," or groupies... without being dirty.

anyway, i'm spending today outside being historically accurate, reading and processing poetry for 9th graders to read and process next week, my last week of being "mr daniels" for a while.... or maybe forever.... who knows.

if you want to give me a teaching job, understand that i can dedicate so much of myself to it, which is what young people need to see happening-- someone who really cares, actually doing something with their energy to benefit others.

wow.

-h.o.d.

ummm... mr daniels has no answers right now.

it's april vacation from school.

i will leave for namibia in two weeks.

i am very ready to do this.

i am not very talkative or typative right now.

know that i'm okay, i'm just impatient and tired.

tired of waiting... ready for what i've waiting for.

love.

http://www.addictedtowar.com/
i have continued to teach "addicted to war" to my 9th grade english classes. today mr. efland and i co-taught a history class on propaganda, spreading some more subversive ideas-- like the idea that you can't always trust your news... and almost everything is an opinion... and the idea of bias... and the techniques that propaganda campaigns use to manipulate emotions... then we had the students create their own propaganda posters.

fun, fun, fun... i really feel like i'm doing my part to educate students who otherwise would not have access to these ideas during an important time in their lives. i hope i'm making some kind of a difference-- even a babystep...

email me, remember? hdaniels@clarku.edu

peace

http://groups.msn.com/alexasnamibiapictures2/shoebox.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=18

this is a picture of julie. just wanted to put it up here.

well it most certainly has been quite a long time since we've checked in with mr daniels.

what the hell have i been up to?

let's see... last friday, before the end of march, i went to boston to see my father and brother. my brother, matthew hersh daniels, is an "Ell" scholar to Northeastern University, where he most likely will attend in the fall for 5 years of intense chemistry... maybe chemical engineering? i'm proud of my little bro, and we couldn't be any more different as people, which is so interesting. my father scott daniels and i spent the night in boston as matthew enjoyed his NEU overnight. we went to the regattabar in cambridge to enjoy a couple of drinks and the music of blues man dave maxwell and his "maximum blues" band. it was great. then on saturday morning i walked alone to the giant peace rally / antiwar march on boston common, mostly as an attentive observer. i did not have any signs, puppets, flags, or anything to display my opinion. i did not speak. i did not join in the shouts. instead i simply listened to what everyone had to say-- labor party organizers, socialists, antiwar parents of enlisted soldiers, students, antibush poets, palestinian musicians and dancers, and the crowd of 20-50 "pro-troops" demonstraters outside the "park" exit on the T. they were all yelling at and challenging the antiwar people by waving flags, shouting "if you don't like our country, get out!" "commie!" "support our troops, support your country!" they all waved flags (american of course) and were quite reactionary. after the protest i met up again with my non-involvement department of defense-job-to-worry-about father and gee-i-wish-i-could-have-gone-to-the-protest brother. we had a nice lunch and i returned to worcester.

then, saturday night at my apartment in worcester, i threw a party. not a bad time at all... i supply the apartment, the tea, and the music, and everyone else supplies the good times, laughs, drinks, and drama. totally cool.

sunday i practiced with "waiting for sully"

monday i taught school like a good student-teacher and then went to American Express Financial / IDS, where i had a job interview for the position as "personal financial advisor." two days later i got my rejection letter... but it was interesting to go in, not care, be honest, and take a personality test. i was brutally honest. if there was a question that was obviously geared toward their ideal employee and i knew i didn't fit it, i was still true to my character. when asked in person by our human resources rep, myself and two other applicants had to answer some brief questions. Q: "love to win, or hate to lose?" others: "both." "love to win!" me: "i don't really believe in winning or losing, i see every experience as an opportunity from which to learn..." Q: "anything you'd go back and change?" me: "i have no regrets." etc etc etc....

tuesday i taught and at night, played with "waiting for sully" at "bar fly", a bar that used to be "scarlet o'hara's". it was a fun show. we are welcome back.

wednesday i taught and did some school work!

thursday i taught my greatest lesson yet: "News Media, Bias, and Propaganda." I had my students gather info on their feelings about the Iraq War, and ALL of them (9th grade Honors English class) were FOR the war!! in this class we discussed what is nonfiction, what is fact and what is opinion? and the news? can you trust it? then i passed out copies of the "Boston Herald," a very pro-war propaganda paper, and "Addicted to War," a comic book form of antiwar propaganda by Joel Andreas. i had the kids "EXPLORE" the two pieces, charting out the PURPOSE, the VIEWPOINT, and the SOURCES of everything in there... we came to the conclusion that they had two totally different sides of information, and some kids even changed their minds about the WAR and the US GOVERNMENT!!! yay! subversive!!!

i celebrated thursday night with some friends--- also, my friend cara powers wrote an article on my band "BASTILLE".... it's amazing, she printed everything! I mean, i never said "I am a Golden God!" did I? :)

anyway, it's saturday. last night we saw "Karate" in Northampton. tonight we see them in Cambridge at the MIddle East Club. last night i gave Gavin McCarthy, their drummer, a few copies of the BASTILLE demo to dig along with the other band members, Geoff Farina and Jeff Goddard. i hope they dig it. i hope you do too.

in fact, i hope everyone digs music... the DVD version of the BEATLES ANTHOLOGY just came out and rob bought it. it's amazing... such vivid sound quality for all the performances and studio outtakes... so much info... so much fucking Paul "MACCA" McCartney giving interviews whilst driving a tug boat, in front of a stage being erected for a fake concert, and in a "woods setting" soundstage with a FAKE CAMPFIRE, pretending to tend to it as he tells LIES!!! macca, please! whatever he's doing, he's always "puttin' on a show", just like his WINGS crap... JET! come on, Macca, we all know who the best beatle was. and he died in 1980. give it a rest.

"there are places i remember... in my life..."

love, love, love...

"all you need is love.."

peace h