mr. daniels

mr daniels here wishing everyone a happy and safe weekend -- let's try to get through a week without a national tragedy!

things are going well... a bit of a transitional week back from february vacation, but we did get some work done. those who did poorly on the "romeo and juliet" test stayed after school to make it up -- with very good results.

part of me thinks i should get into special ed or being an "inclusion specialist", because lately at school i have much preferred working individually with students who have special needs -- building from what they already know, helping their confidence, giving them some helpful analogies to understand things, and generally helping them out in the best way possible. i really love doing that -- it's not "easier" than planning a lesson for 24 students and hoping they all "get" it; in fact it's probably harder. but honestly i think i have a talent for spotting people's strengths and using them to overcome their weaknesses. and i just love rapping one-on-one with these kids. even the ones who referred to my organic blue corn tortilla chips as "white people food."

that's all for now. it's been a happy bunch o' days, even without communication from miss jj. that's a good thing. i really am an independent, functioning individual. it's funny how love can give the impression that we are any less ourselves. if anything, i am stronger alone because of my bond with another. i know that to be true of my other, as well. this is not to say that those of you without an other at the moment are less strong -- never believe that being with someone is a quick fix to individual shortcomings. sometimes you gotta work alone.

enough "trying to figure it all out" for now... i have some long-neglected friends from home with whom i'd like to reinforce bonds.

best wishes to all of you and yours.

-hd

ok, i have a lot to say. it's easier sometimes just not to say anything, and keep a lot of frustration inside and try to be positive... but really, you do have to embrace the darkness sometimes.

i'm in worcester massachusetts, which looks nothing like THIS, which is pretty much all i can think about right now. this is some part of namibia, the country in which my love, julie joy, currently lives. clark university study abroad (like anyone reading this doesn't know our story...).

it's funny. i had been dealing pretty well since january 25th (when i saw her to the airport), mostly because i kept myself pretty busy with friends, teaching, travels, etc, etc. well i'm back from a great school vacation (see feb. 12-23) and it's a little harder easing into teaching (which i know is a definitely cause of some frustration), but there's a lot more downtime now-- which is always the enemy.

julie began a 2-week rural homestay in the deserts of northwestern namibia this monday 2/24, and since speaking with her on the phone sunday night, the very idea that she will be on a farm community with no phone or computer access makes me miss her exponentially more than the same distance, with frequent communication. this makes perfect sense, because our relationship is all about communication. i'm trying to deal, but a lot of the past 48 hours have been filled with frustration, urges to cry and punch inanimate objects, and really hard emotional strain. i'm working on it. i'm just eager to hear from her again.

it definitely doesn't help to read old emails from her, and other words we've exchanged. photos aren't a problem though.

i know. i'm pathetic. she feels the same way, she tells me. i know we've got something amazing here. that's why i'm not like, "oh, whatever, she's in africa, who cares, i don't really miss her, i'll just kiss other girls." no way. that person does not go by "mr daniels." the real me isn't even going to deny the feelings-- it's been very good to embrace my emotions rather than hide them.

thanks for reading this, even if you skimmed it, whoever you are. it helps a lot to write it.

i've got nothing to say.

okay. i assumed that the chicago club incident involved a fire. it did not.
it started when a security guard used pepper spray to break up a fight. someone yelled "poison gas!" and another yelled "i'll bet it's bin laden!" so 21 people died, and dozens were injured in the stampede to get out of the club. who is to blame in that one? cnn, i'd say-- "terror alert is on high" was a great-looking logo onscreen all last week, and it certainly helped the american public to get that much more afraid. panic, paranoia, fear, hate. that's what you get from the national news.

what about hope? there's got to be some of that lying around. i intend to find it and share it.

i just set up a free trial on "teacher web," where i now host a website about me, as a teacher. give me suggestions on what to put up there.

http://TeacherWeb.com/MA/WorcesterSouthHighcommunitySchool/mrdaniels/

my email is harrisodaniels@hotmail.com. please contact if you're out there. thanks.

today we are all wondering what the hell happened at that tiny club in warwick, rhode island:

why didn't the club have sprinklers?
why did great white use such large pyrotechnics in such a small club with a wooden structure?
why did people run through the same way they came in, instead of using the not-blocked fire doors?
why are there so many peripheral tragedies happening lately that make big news? chicago club fire, winter snowstorms, terrorist alerts, duct tape advisories, etc etc. is it possible that these things have been happening all along and just weren't widely reported? wait a minute, isn't there a war going on?

things to ponder. i'm really trying to be secure with the fact that my life is going so well in the midst of all these tragedies. if i really let everything on tv and in the newspaper affect me too much, i'd be a paranoid, scared, violent person... hmmm....

live your life. be aware of fire exits wherever you go. don't draw attention to yourself. don't be afraid.

i am of course in no position to give advice. but i often think about how to answer potential questions from students. we had vacation this week, but i'm sure in the last 7 days they have been wondering about snow, terrorists, clubs, fires, war, etc. and i want them to have resources outside of cnn and other network news media so that they don't fall into the "fear fear fear" paradigm... there's so much going on in the world outside of the 6 o'clock news. i can't wait to try to explain this to my students.

i saw jay bennett (a very talented musician/singer/songwriter who was kicked out of the band wilco) perform last night in boston. i also chatted with him a bit, and i could just tell he's a mess. drinking too much beer and shots, smoking too many cigarettes, looked like he hadn't slept in way too long. poor jay. he's writing great, sad songs, though.

got to crash on the couch of my mother's cousin's wife's daughter, shannon (i guess she's my step-3rd cousin?) in boston last night, and she has exciting news: she's engaged to her awesome greek boy, dimitri! i'm very excited for her. makes me wonder when i'll be breaking that kind of news to family and friends... maybe not till i'm 25? who knows.

i definitely ask more questions than i answer on this blog. is this annoying? is this something a teacher should be doing? does it accomplish anything? am i using my brain enough? should i let you, the reader, answer these questions?

give it a shot-- let me know what's between your ears. -- posted by harris at 2:14 PM

i really often wonder if any student i teach will ever get bored enough to do a google search for "mr daniels" and see this blog. and what would they think? "damn, mr daniels is deep."? "damn, mr daniels is full of shit!"? "poor mr daniels, his girlfriend is away in africa, that must be why he's such a hardass! we should be nicer to him, then maybe his tests won't be so hard!"? "and what the hell happened with mr daniels and shahin and nicole?"

maybe, maybe not. it's an interesting curiosity to indulge, however.

this is just to say that i am back to worcester, massachusetts after an incredible journey with many souls, but especially these two:


shahin ismail-beigi shirazi
and
nicole andriana bernard

and in spirit,
julie anne melissa joy was there, too. for all of it.


sincerely,

mr daniels

the story since valentine's day:

i can't really describe well enough how much bonding my old friend nicole, my new friend shahin, and i did in albuquerque this weekend. it was so nice to catch up, and really work through some past stuff. and doing new things, like going to the pop culture conference and doing our panels and hanging in the hotel bar and meeting crazy personalities, having a great free lunch and seeing rudolfo anaya speak about the "innocente", a figure with a smile on his/her face all the time... he was very outspoken against war and president bush. he talked about going to the white house, and first meeting johnny cash and then kirk douglas, and telling them that "everyone in new mexico loves you!", then meeting dubya, and saying, "lighten up!" he then signed books, and i bought a couple, and told him how refreshing it was to hear him say things that a lot of people don't want to hear right now... and how transcendental his philosophies are... he wasn't so nice in person--- he was in a hurry to be done being a celebrity and get out --- but it was still great. we saw "cat power" at the launchpad with another great band-- "foma." they threw out roses and i collected some petals. everything was so laid-back and amazing in new mexico-- it's a great place to visit, maybe to live... we got to see mountains on sunday, and walk around petroglyphs national monument, climbing to the top of some old volcanoes. then, on a whim, we drove an hour to santa fe and had dinner near the capitol building. everywhere i look there is life and art--- sculpture, buildings (i LOVE adobe!!!), and just everything coming alive... a lot of open opposition to war in iraq, which makes me feel good.

so on monday morning we had to get up and leave albuquerque. we flew to minneapolis, but our flight to providence was cancelled because of the giant snowstorm crippling the east coast. how did the terrorists figure out how to make snow??? we'll never know...
anyway, we got a flight to detroit, and found that no more flights would be going to providence monday, or even tuesday morning. so we called up my good friend steve aldrich, who graduated from clark and is a student at the grad school of geography at michigan state u, and being the awesome guy he is, he picked us up in detroit and drove us an hour and a half to east lansing, where we ate, drank, slept, and shopped. i am spending way too much money!!! anyway, we fly tonight (hopefully) from detroit to providence at 9:17pm. then i have the rest of the school vacation (till monday the 24th) to reflect, develop amazing photos, read, write, and work on movie posters... what a life i am living.... what a great time to be alive. yeah, we're on the brink of war, there could be terrorists lurking anywhere, and our country is really on a downhill plunge in so many respects, but i am daring to be happy, and so are my friends. who knows what will happen, but i will commit an act of anarchy: living my life to its fullest and not being afraid.

i need to figure out how to incorporate all i've learned and experienced in the past week into my 9th grade english classes... then i'll really be known as the "hippie teacher".


peace, man.

so ummm.... if you've ever wondered what a "popular culture association conference" is all about, check this out:
southwest pca program
look at it. you literally have to choose at any given moment between film adaptation, teaching, lord of the rings, and the grateful dead. yes, there are actually panels in which a bunch of people just get together and talk about the dead. crazy.
i got up yesterday morning anticipating being there the whole day, but instead i wrote 5 pages for my presentation on teaching romeo and juliet in high school. it went so well! i got to go to the university of new mexico women's center and print out my paper and some "handouts", which look really professional-- even though i don't!
so my panel was really diverse. there was this guy who teaches shakespeare to students looking into military careers at the u.s. naval academy, a woman who teaches freshmen non-english majors expository writing, and a woman, "kelly" yueh-ying chen from taipei, taiwan, who flew 24 hours to be here, who is very silly and fun. she came with a 50-page paper and needed to cut it down to 10, and i told her i had the opposite problem! She told me that i am very "handsome and spicy." i think that's a compliment! i really loved getting up, doing my spiel, showing clips from my class and two films, and just generally smoking a show. i can't believe i weaseled my way into this conference and impressed people--- i'm just a slacker film student!!!
albuquerque has been wonderful, especially staying with nicole, a friend i haven't seen for 3 years, and meeting her friends, seeing mountains, eating lots of new mexican food (green chili and sopapillas with honey!!!!), enjoying a lot of the sights, and seeing the university. tonight we see "cat power" at the launchpad, a good club with bad sound. the night we came in, we went to see "neko case," a really sexy (to men and women alike) folk singer with long, wavy red hair, and two guys in her band who played upright bass and banjo/pedal steel/slide guitar/etc etc. it was great, everyone fell in love with neko. and afterwards we met her outside, and shahin and i told her we flew from mass just to see her!!!
this is an amazing experience. more to follow.
-h

today i woke up in albuquerque, new mexico. it's wonderful out here. like everywhere else, i can only assume it would be more amazing if julie were here to experience this with me. but that's why they call that the future... and this is amazing anyway.

so i wrote a great post yesterday, then my computer froze, and i lost it. and i was so frustrated i didn't write again until today.
the romeo and juliet test on monday went well. most of the students at least tried... there were some pages left totally blank, which is disconcerting, but i need to realize it's not my fault some kids just won't do work. i shouldn't take it personally. i went over everything in great detail, offered lots of help, provided examples, everything. the popular excuse monday was, that since friday was a snow day, the test on monday should be cancelled. but i went over everything on thursday. plenty of time to study.
anyway, i showed two clips, both from the scene where romeo has bad feelings right before the party. i think the kids were surprised that i showed them leonardo dicaprio taking an ecstasy pill and saying, "thy drugs are quick", but that was my idea-- baz luhrmann "transplanted" that line from the end of the play--when romeo takes the poison and dies--to this scene, the wild party... some essays reflected this difference, and that's really how i knew some kids were paying attention.
ah, what else? in brief, werner's visit was excellent, we had ethiopian food in boston-- great! -- and bastille's recording went very well. waiting for sully did not win the battle of the bands... but oh well. it was fun, we played well.
i am off to albuquerque tomorrow. details to follow.
i am hosting a "round" tomorrow. i am having my class explore "what is nonfiction?" and talk about reality tv, short stories, newspaper articles, and other stuff... fun fun fun, even though i'm being observed by the watchful eye of the clark education philosophy. as long as i do what i'm doing and use the "buzzwords" like "engagement", "design", "enrichment", and "strategies", i'll be fine.
i love julie joy. that's not changing, and i just had to say it.
peace.

"it's funny. don't ever tell anybody anything. if you do, you start missing everybody."

this is the very last line holden caulfield writes/speaks in salinger's the catcher in the rye. i really miss julie. i had a wonderful time with my cousin werner, and now all i can think about is how much i want him and julie to meet. and i want to share everything about my life with julie with him, and i want him to share everything about his life with her. it is funny, because i want to tell everybody everything. and i miss her, i do. i miss her so much. i just spent 8 minutes crying, lying down, listening to the first track of the sigur ros album "( )". it's pretentious maybe, but it really is beautiful music. it wasn't the music that made me cry, it was thinking about everything in the world, in the city of worcester, in my apartment, in my room that reminds me of julie. and thinking about where she is right now, in windhoek, namibia, africa, doing some amazing things, seeing wonderful and horrible things, and experiencing something most don't know anything about. i'll tell her everything, and she'll tell me everything. and we'll both miss each other. and that's a good thing.

so i've been quite busy. thursday was a great teaching day, because i was able to help my class review for the upcoming "romeo & juliet" test that i am designing! i plan to test their knowledge of literary terms through examples from the play, and some essay questions about theme and plot. i also plan to show them clips from the 1968 france zefferelli version and the 1997 baz luhrmann version (same scene), and have them explore the evidence of the directors' "style", pointing out changes from the original play.

i am currently recording in a real studio with bastille, which has gone remarkably well. we are really getting the sound that we want, and i am happy that after 1.5 years together, we will finally have a cd to show for our creative energies.

tonight (saturday) my other band, waiting for sully, will perform in the clark university "battle of the bands". this should be fun, and should we win, the prize is to open for the mid-nineties "good" band better than ezra. interesting, i didn't know they were still around.

since friday afternoon, in the midst of a giant snowstorm (no school friday, a snow day!) and lots of confusion, i have spent some time with my 2nd cousin werner pfandler, who is swiss yet lives in munich, germany. he is so wise and brilliant and so laid back, and enjoys everything. his philosophy is simple, and so similar to my own, which i honed over many years across the atlantic ocean before i met him 2 years ago when i visited his home in munich during my study abroad in london. he is all about good times, and not worrying. i love that, because it's such a relaxing atmosphere when no one is worrying. i took him from boston to worcester, had dinner at a few nice places, drank lots of st. john's wort "good mood" tea, talked a lot with him and my roommates linden and sihaya, went to record with bastille (which he witnessed and enjoyed), and stayed up late listening to leonard cohen, sigur ros, and geoff farina. i so enjoy time with him. he is here to visit my oma (swiss for grandmother) in ct, and my dad came to worcester this morning and we went to breakfast before the cousins left. tomorrow we will go to boston to have lunch and bring him to the airport for the end of his 48 hour visit to the states. what a wonderful family i have-- i am so lucky to have an open-minded clan of those who enjoy life, are not plagued by worry or religious conviction, and clearly have learned so much from living.

peace.

i'm going to try this every day thing, not just to compete with that africa chick, but also to keep track of what i'm doing... because when i'm done with a week, day, or even class period, it feels like a train has just passed me by, wicked fast, and i can't really recall the entire experience. i am up to so much, i really feel like 4 or 5 people. maybe i should introduce them:

1. a student teacher monday through friday, 7am to 2pm. teaching 9th grade english, learning a lot.

2. an employee of greatposters.com, a small internet company that specializes in dealing vintage movie posters from the 1930s--1960s. taking digital photos, evaluating poster conditions, pricing and selling posters on ebay, and other such tasks.

3. a drummer with bastille, a 3 piece "mathrock" band, and waiting for sully, a 4 piece "emo pop" band. they're both a lot of fun, and rock very hard. i've been drumming for about 12 years... i love it. love it.

4. a friend to many, a family member to a few, a lover to one.

so i guess the routine will be, let one month or so pass before posting? my girlfriend has a blog that i lovingly set up for her. her name is julie, and she is spending the spring semester abroad in namibia, just northwest of south africa. her blog is julie in africa. anyway, she posts EVERY DAY. so why don't i? i dunno, i'm busy. but she's busier. i love her. but i also love the teaching i'm doing.
i'm finishing up teaching "Romeo & Juliet" to one a-level class and one "inclusion" (special ed integrated) class, and about halfway through the same play with two honors classes. it's been really fun spending a loooooonnnnng time on a shakespeare play, because in college, i had to read a whole play in time to discuss it in only one or two one-hour class periods. now, we spend at least one hour every day either reading in class, discussing the play, writing about it, or engaging in an activity related to the play... we've been doing this since the last week of november, and we're almost done!
today my period 4 a-level class did "Reader's Theater," or as my mentor teacher calls it, "Disasterpiece Theater." I had the kids present parts of scenes under 50 lines in groups, and i videotaped their presentations. i think it went well-- i was hoping the kids would do some work to get props/costumes, or at least "translate" shakespeare's poetic word to their own modern-day vernacular, but almost everyone just got up and ready. there was some theatrical energy expended, however, and i was pleased.
in one week i am off to albuquerque, new mexico to present a paper (which i have yet to write) on teaching shakespeare in high school -- title: "A Slacker Film Student's First Foray into Teaching Shakespeare in High School" -- and be part of a panel on "Shakespeare and Pedagogy." I am going with my crony Shahin Ismail-Beigi Shirazi and we're going to have a blast.
more updates soon... i need to compete with my very motivated (and missing me very much) girlfriend's blog. peace.